Cycling in the Pouring Rain

Do you remember what it's like to be a kid? Do you remember what it's like to play in the rain? That's what it was like for me to ride the bike leaving Albuquerque this morning.



As kids, we never thought about whether our clothes were dirty or hair was messed. We put so much emphasis on the rain as adults, that it really takes away from the beauty of its gifts. One of which is getting wet. I don't care if you have an Armani suit---you can always take it to the cleaner.



But do you have to protect yourself from the rain?

We have so many concerns in our lives that the things we do come with a question mark. And that question leads you to fear---fear of the unknown, fear of that which hasn't yet been experienced.

Today's cycling trip in the rain, getting completely soaked---getting cold to the bone---all those things gave me clarity. I realized that we don't have options. The moment you make a decision to do something, the other thought of "not doing" does not exist. So, there is no option or choice.

Life is a gift. Live it.

Every moment is question...

Is there anything wrong with helping others? What is right about helping others? Perhaps people do not want help. Maybe people do not want change. Who am I to think people need help? Am I selfish for thinking of myself?

It may make me feel good, happy, content when I help another human being. I think it is a natural thing to do. Helping another human being who may or may not need help is what nature intended for me.

Life does not offer answers, it offers questions. Living does not not offer misery, it offers hope, dreams, and miracles. When you live questioning yourself, you'll come to an understanding that in order to help others, you must first help yourself. And my question remains. Am I selfish for thinking of others like me? Life is a risk. You are not in control. For me, personally, if life were not a risk, what would be the point of living?

So, in answer to some people's question about why I'm doing this cross-country bike tour. I guess it's for the risk, and the hope to help others. But truly, the destination is in every moment. And every moment is question.

Doughnuts & Coffee...

This morning, we went out to pick up some doughnuts before starting the day. I love having a cup of coffee before getting started with my day. Coffee warms my stomach and gently moves me from a sleeping state to a waking state.

Both of us are crazy busy. I have a list of friends I need to contact to tell about this trip. A lot of my peeps still don't know.

Luna has plans to train again today. Yesterday, he spent almost three hours on a stationary bike at the gym. I'm surprised that he did pretty darn well. I mean, he wasn't winded in the least bit. He reminded me afterward that the gym conditions aren't nearly comparable to real-life conditions. Cyclists are either confronted with riding into the wind or with the wind, when they are riding uphill their bike tilts with them and they are carrying their weight while balancing on a two-centimeter wheel--your whole body is involved in the process.

Nevertheless, he seemed to appreciate the workout, getting his calves and thighs used to the motion, so different from walking (my preferred mode of athletic transportation.)

Strangely enough, I'm really nervous and excited for this trip myself. Obviously, being in the car, it's not so much a matter of the physical test, but rather, because I think this will test my mental ... moxie.

I'll have a lot of time to myself on this journey.

A friend asked me, "Are you sure you're doing this for yourself? Are you sure you want to do this?"

And my response was simply, "What else would I do if I didn't?" Isn't life just a succession of events that you either take part in, or you witness? I guess I'm glad to be able to take part in this event in a way that I can take part in it. I really don't think I have the physical wherewithal to endure 2,500 miles of cross-country cycling.

I do have a lot of awareness about the personal challenges that supporting a friend who does have that physical ability will present.

Already I have posed to myself countless questions about what it means to be a woman, what it means for me to be the "passenger" on this trip "driven" by my (male) partner, and I can say that I do experience a little bit of conflict over it--if only because I was brought up on somewhat contradictory values that I have incorporated and embodied.

On the one hand, I feel so great to be useful and important to play this role of support crew to an amazing person who is about to take on an amazing challenge. On the other hand, I am aware that I am (and have been for a while) digressing from the path charted for me. That path was safe and perfect: I'd get married, live in a house with a white picket fence, I'd be raising beautiful children and taking them to soccer practice, while seamlessly advancing in my career. Over the past five years or so, I have gotten divorced, eschewed the white picket fence for less permanent abodes across a 6,000-mile span from Washington D.C. to Maui and back to the mainland, begun a PR business of my own, and put a hold on the child-rearing lifestyle.

Living my life off the itinerary gives my Moon in Virgo a bit of a head-ache. While the travel feeds my soul, I do find comfort in settling too.

Yeah, I'll have a lot of time to think about this stuff when we hit the road. Today, I have letters to write. Phone calls to make. Stuff to pack. But, first, shower!!